You fight all the time, years go by and you can't see anymore because you are tired of fighting for the things that make you happy and smile, the life you are seeking for. We sometimes need a "push" to work hard for the day we wanted and to know if it worth or we regret it? No we are not but it's annoying and we get bored and weak when we do it everyday. We say to ourselves why should I bother? I shall give up, you rest and sit while others walking and pass you by while your are looking, then you gather your strength and get up and walk again.
It was the 90s, I was a different person, a weak person who doesn't know how far I could go with the talent I have. He used to believe in me and watching him happy and make us all happy and noise all around, I still have his card he gave me in my birthday with the big Barbie doll house, I was a person who didn't express her happiness and her joy when I get gifts, he used to tell me I shall be happy and Do something.
That year we didn't talk much. That year he passed away.
I always remember how far your believes make me go and when I get weak, I always remember you and then I go further and express my happiness and my talent to the world.
To lose a brother who used to wake all the house is one of the hardest thing in life and it makes you stronger facing the world later.
RIP my dearest brother.